daniel aljughaifi

You completely misunderstood me.

I never said you have to love it, can you quote me on that?

As far as the sadaqah you missed that by a long shot. Did you even read that statement? I used that to make one understand the idea of upholding something theoreticly then going against it practicly.

It was the idea that I was trying to put forth seeing that we are different, and I know that. I have been married for 8 years now(longer than most on this message board).I do know that to understand woman is not to understand them at all, because we never will and the same goes for the woman.

Ditto, yet I see alot of it. But I never said how a woman should feel I just have a problem with the ones that contradict themselves, if your not one of them then you don't have to get mad.

You also said that no man would like to share his wife. Of course he wouldn't, it's not right accourding to Sharee'ah.

So read what I said again before you jump to conclusions cause I can hardly breath with all the words you put in my mouth.

I hope I did not offend anyone and I hope you can forgive me if I did as it is more important to me than my post.It is as I said I was only talking about the woman that controdict themselves when defending then defaming poligamy.

__________________

daniel aljughaifi

Yet again you have put words in my mouth. I have never in any sentence said that you should like it.

All I was saying was;if you are going to go around defending it don't start talking like the very people you were debating.

I will say it again: I have NEVER said that you have to like it or love it.

As I said re read my post and you will see that I never said that or even geard my speach towards that. I mean that would be idiotic.

Here is something to think about: http://talk.islamicnetwork.com/showthread.php?t=5907

Look at what he says in the beggining of his reply where he says "you don't really agree with it."

__________________

Helper

If I hadn't promised someone I would not bash sisters on IN, I would have. Some posters here deserve to be bashed for the asinine, vacuous and fallacious arguments they bring. Arguments which betray an utter lack of understanding of human nature as well as a certain arrogance that emanates only from women with such feministic tendencies.

To all those obtuse individuals; stop your baatilness, your detestable feministic ideas disgust us. Learn your position in society and understand it well. You are future mothers, learn and understand what women are, teach that to your daughters instead of the foolishness you have taken such a liking to.

__________________

Sitt ad-Daar

Before I leave on my journy, I wanted to reply to this when I said the 1st and 2nd would be the most hardest spots, is due to the fact they are not accustomed to it, then they will either 1) become accustomed to it or 2)not but obviously if the husabdn took on a 3rd then alhamdulillaah they are patient through it.

In regards for wanting for your sister what you want for yourself, man now that i think about it if a sister is patient through the hard times how much reward she will get for it? and when i said its the hardest spot, it doesnt mean its a bad thing its such not an easy spot to be in and one must be patient in that spot, and being a 3rd your coming in on tottaly calm waters they have become used to the situation most likely(not in all cases because i know someone who was married as a 1st then her husband married on her 1 month after they got married then 2 months after that he married a 3rd, so when the 3rd came in it was not on calm waters) but I am speaking on a situation like married to 1st wife for 5 2nd wife for a similiar amount of time then marrying a 3rd wife, its most likely to be calm.

anywho, akhee daniel one can tottaly be for polygny but when it happens, its the hardest thing on a woman, once a student of knowledge said to someone I know that Ta'adud for a woman is like Jihaad like the battle field its very hard on her, to over come her nafs her desire to be selfish and want the man all for herself, I think as long as the woman keep fighting her desire, and the husband has wisdom on how to deal with his wife durring these hard times she will be ok.

Because a Believing woman goes through many feelings when her husband marries on her, some more then others example:

Day 1) 'masha'Allaah lets go get an apartment for wife 2, habeebi maybe me and her can go shopping together and have halaqahs together and maybe live together'

day 2) husband is away spending time with 2nd wife 1st wife begins to say 'I can't take it seeing my husband with another woman, I wonder what they are doing, will he love her more then me? is she more beautiful in his eyes then me, more obediant? *cry cry cry*'

day 3) ' *cry cry cry* I can't handle this situation its breaking my heart, habeebi im hurting, its ok habeebi you can have her i will just leave the situation'

day 4) 'Im sorry my dear husband, I reacted to badly i have to be patient I do want this but my nafs, im jealous *cry*'


anyways this is how it happens, its not that the sister hates ta'adud or speaks good about it till it happens to her but, she goes through so many different feelings, and shaytan works on these feelings as well.

and I honestly feel its upon the husband to know how to deal with the feelings, with wisdom and patience.

wallaahu 'alaam

im tottaly in my own zone right know wa laakin, i think i got what i wanted to say out.

I will be away traveling for awhile so I wont be able to reply back to your post unless you post with in the next few hours.

wasalaamu alaikum

__________________

Umm Muwahidah Al-Kurdiyya

__________________

Umm Sumayyah

Helper

ok, another asinine post and I'm breaking my promise.

__________________

daniel aljughaifi

You can and you did and you are right.

__________________

Intisaar

wa 'alaykum asalam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakatuh

Threads like these get us nowhere, as some people just use this as an opportunity to just bash the opposite gender.

At the end of the day it boils down to this, brothers should stop trying to work out how a womans head works because we don't even know that and sisters should stop trying to justify other womens actions.

For those who havn't read this thread save yourself some time and just go to post #2 - sister fatima’s post, a thousand gems in that post - barakAllaahu feeha.

daniel aljughaifi

I do not disagree at all sis, you are right and I am not to proud to say so. I just wish we all could use more wisdom.

__________________