Holier than thou? - Page 4

Catalyst · 01-13-2006, 12:02 AM

Addressing directly to whoevers issue it is ...

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Adree

cumon ppl.........need some seriouse advice here.

I would go for number one, but then again every one is different. What do your parents think?

Quote:

CONS: the brother has been described by others as unsociable, keeps himself to himself, doesnt know how to have a laugh, very very quiet quiet. talks little. seriouse.

I'm not amazed he has been described as being unsociable. The amount he does mashaa`Allaah, how would he possibly get the time to be 'sociable'?

'Very very quiet' - I'm not amazed he is so successful in life mashaa`Allaah. If he wasted time talking then he wouldn't get a chance to do all the good things he does.

I don't believe his 'quiteness' should be a problem after marriage. I'm sure he'll open up. And if he truly is what you have described, then he will lighten up just as the Prophet used to lighten up with his wives.

Has he got any sisters or close relatives? Ask them (obviously in a discreet manner, maybe through a third person), as they will know the 'inside' story.

Sister, do istikhaarah and istishaarah (with family and friends), and don't let the chance go.

May Allaah give you what is the best for you. Aameen

Ahlam401 · 01-13-2006, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by La Adree

.....
now the sister is in a dilemma, which does she choose? as both remindher of Allah, one is more on her level (number 2) and they can learn together but the other is very knowledgable and can teach her alot more, but doesnt seem to have the personality.

What would you do? refering back to the queston number 2 is holier than her and number 1 is on the same level. what attracts her to number 1 is his personality, what attracts her to number 2 is his knowledge.

difficult one....

I don't think she could go wrong with either of the brothers. If she is going to choose the brother who has all that knowledge and is so busy, then she has to realize that she is going to have to make alot of sacrifices because of his busy schedule. There probably won't be alot of times where they will be just chilling and going out for dinner. To have a husband like that, the woman has to be strong and patient because she doesn't want to end up complaining to him all the time and hindering his dawah efforts. If she is prepared to let go of these things, then that brother seems to be the best pick.

If she doesn't think she could sacrifice these things happily, then the other brother would be best. It's not really a problem is he isn't as knowledgeable as the first one because as long as she knows that he puts in the effort and strives to learn more, he will eventually get to the level of the other brother bi ithnillah. Since they are both around the same age, they will probably relate to eachother better and they can gain knowledge and grow together. And she should definitely pray istikhaarah as well.

La Adree · 01-13-2006, 10:49 PM

thank you all for the advice, good to hear what others would do. sister ahlam you have made a good point. didnt think of it like that.

the sister is worried brother number one is tooo intelectual for her, as she has not got much knowledge herself and may feel inferior with brother number one. she wont have anyone to compete with which can make thing more fun, as the brother already knows his stuff. although she could learn alot from him.

she is praying istikhara but cannot tell which way to go, as both brothers apeal to her very much, she doesnt want to make a choice she will regret later.

***daniel aljughaifi*** · 01-13-2006, 10:55 PM

When it comes down to it, why would we ever be jelous over someone knowing more than ourselfs(this advise is for the men)? Is it that we have kibr and we don't want anyone to make us feel small?

Also, Why would someone think less of there brother(this advise is for the ladys)? Is it that we think of ourselfs as so great that we see this person as so little? You need a Share'e reason to think ill of someone, if you don't then this is wrong cause you think less of someone without valid reason.

I will give you an example that I think we all will understand. The Taliban are deobundis and they upheld the Share'ah of Allah(swt) in the 21st cen. Then we have what we call Salafis all over with so much 'Ilm, yet Allah(swt) saw the brothers in Afghanistan fit to have the great Ni'mah of being the ones to impliment the knoble Share'a in the 21st cen.
SubhanAllah!
One may have 'Ilm but maybe he eats to much and loves his Rols Royce to much. One may have little 'Ilm but practices everything he knows even though it is not much. The point is; who is practicing what they know and who is not? Fulan 1 may practices LITTLE of ALL that he knows and Fulan 2 may practices ALL of the LITTLE that he knows.

Who reminds you of Allah? Who makes you think of Allah? Who makes you remember the Akhirah? Who never tires in talking about the Akhirah? Who weeps over the Quran? Who trembles over the thought of the grave?

If you can find someone like that, I don't care if they know only fatihah! They have absorbed the meaning of it in there lives.

-We are in need of little 'Ilm and much Akhaq-
I hope this will help the ones who read it and may Allah forgive me for anything that I said wrong it was from my self. Wa Allahu'alim

***Ibn El-Sheikh*** · 01-14-2006, 08:22 AM

Does this remind anyone else of this?

***Editor*** · 01-14-2006, 10:09 AM

No, your life reminds me of that.

Ukht Islaami · 01-14-2006, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ibn El-Sheikh

Does this remind anyone else of this?

That's just a guy in love, all people who are in love say those kind of things, and you cant blame them.

talibatun ul ilm · 04-03-2006, 11:05 PM

for the sister who was asking about the 2 brothers, personally i would say brother 2:
thats coz if they are compatable in their personalities, then they would help each other to implement whatever they know, encourage each other to strive to learn and act more, whereas with brother 1, then it would be more like teacher/student kind of relationship, so one tells the other what to do, how to do it,etc... but that doesnt nesessitate that it will form into a kind of relationship where the people involved will be able to raise a family together etc... (i mean, im thinking like u can get along with one of ur teachers/lecturers really well on an academic/learning point of view, and you may admire them for their knowledge, but you could never marry them coz that is not the way you view them/personality is not suited to that.....

01-13-2006, 10:55 PM	#34
*daniel aljughaifi* النجدي الوهابي Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: "the land" 17:103 Posts: 536 Gender:	When it comes down to it, why would we ever be jelous over someone knowing more than ourselfs(this advise is for the men)? Is it that we have kibr and we don't want anyone to make us feel small? Also, Why would someone think less of there brother(this advise is for the ladys)? Is it that we think of ourselfs as so great that we see this person as so little? You need a Share'e reason to think ill of someone, if you don't then this is wrong cause you think less of someone without valid reason. I will give you an example that I think we all will understand. The Taliban are deobundis and they upheld the Share'ah of Allah(swt) in the 21st cen. Then we have what we call Salafis all over with so much 'Ilm, yet Allah(swt) saw the brothers in Afghanistan fit to have the great Ni'mah of being the ones to impliment the knoble Share'a in the 21st cen. SubhanAllah! One may have 'Ilm but maybe he eats to much and loves his Rols Royce to much. One may have little 'Ilm but practices everything he knows even though it is not much. The point is; who is practicing what they know and who is not? Fulan 1 may practices LITTLE of ALL that he knows and Fulan 2 may practices ALL of the LITTLE that he knows. Who reminds you of Allah? Who makes you think of Allah? Who makes you remember the Akhirah? Who never tires in talking about the Akhirah? Who weeps over the Quran? Who trembles over the thought of the grave? If you can find someone like that, I don't care if they know only fatihah! They have absorbed the meaning of it in there lives. -We are in need of little 'Ilm and much Akhaq- I hope this will help the ones who read it and may Allah forgive me for anything that I said wrong it was from my self. Wa Allahu'alim __________________ "There is nothing on the face of the earth that is more in need of being imprisoned for a lenghty period of time than the tongue" Abdullah Ibn Mas'ood "The one who is in love is a slave to the one he loves" Sheikhul Islam Ibnu Taymiyyah Unite and Conquer Daniel Al-Jughaifi's Blog Last edited by daniel aljughaifi : 01-14-2006 at 10:56 AM.

01-14-2006, 08:22 AM	#35
*Ibn El-Sheikh* Goddamn CBC Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: Right back where we started from Posts: 1,452 Gender:	Does this remind anyone else of this? __________________ Islamic Networking Moderator Unite and Conquer www.islamicnetwork.com

01-14-2006, 10:09 AM	#36
*Editor* Om Ahe. Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: My hinterland lies elsewhere. Posts: 3,267 My Mood: Gender:	No, your life reminds me of that. __________________ \|FREE TALHA AHSAN\| اللهُمّ فك أسرى المسلمين، واحفظ دينهم وأهلهم *Remember: When you make du'a, have certainty that Allah will answer it.* Islamic Networking Moderator \| Unite & Conquer \| www.islamicnetwork.com \| www.cageprisoners.com

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01-13-2006, 10:49 PM	#33
La Adree Junior Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 77 Gender:	thank you all for the advice, good to hear what others would do. sister ahlam you have made a good point. didnt think of it like that. the sister is worried brother number one is tooo intelectual for her, as she has not got much knowledge herself and may feel inferior with brother number one. she wont have anyone to compete with which can make thing more fun, as the brother already knows his stuff. although she could learn alot from him. she is praying istikhara but cannot tell which way to go, as both brothers apeal to her very much, she doesnt want to make a choice she will regret later.

04-03-2006, 11:05 PM	#38
talibatun ul ilm Member Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 423 Gender:	for the sister who was asking about the 2 brothers, personally i would say brother 2: thats coz if they are compatable in their personalities, then they would help each other to implement whatever they know, encourage each other to strive to learn and act more, whereas with brother 1, then it would be more like teacher/student kind of relationship, so one tells the other what to do, how to do it,etc... but that doesnt nesessitate that it will form into a kind of relationship where the people involved will be able to raise a family together etc... (i mean, im thinking like u can get along with one of ur teachers/lecturers really well on an academic/learning point of view, and you may admire them for their knowledge, but you could never marry them coz that is not the way you view them/personality is not suited to that.....

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