Holier than thou? - Page 2

***daniel aljughaifi*** · 01-04-2006, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Editor

So with both knowledge and worship combined, what would your take be in that case?

Explain a bit more for claritys sake if you don't mind.

Ukht Islaami · 01-05-2006, 04:28 AM

The first woman I loved, he said,
Her skin was satin and gold.

The next woman I loved, he said.
Her skin was satin and gold.

The third woman I loved, he said,
Was made in a different mold.

She was deeper than me, and said so;
She was stronger than me, and said so.

She was wiser than me, and proved it;
I shivered, and grew cold.

The fourth woman I loved, he said,
Her skin was satin and gold.

TajweedDoctor · 01-05-2006, 04:37 AM

I think marrying someone better than you in terms of Ibadah and intelligence has both pros and cons. But we have to remember that every case is different and with that, we can't really generalize. As many of you have mentioned, there are cases where the wife is better than the husband in both ways but the marriage works out fine, and other cases where this just doesn't work at all.

I think a lot of us might be missing another key factor in this discussion: personality/character. My theory is that if marriages work out where the husband is better than the wife in terms of Ibadah and Intelligence or vice versa, it might be because of the personalities. A husband who is more knowledgable in Deen and dunya might be very patient and loving towards his wife. He feels merciful towards her, has patience in teaching her even though she doesn't meet up to his "level" perhaps.

On the other hand, if such a husband has a very tough personality, very rigid, and impatient, his wife might have a hard time.

The same could go for the wife being more knowledgable in deen and dunya than the husband, too.

It all goes back to the hadeeth where the Prophet (sal Allahu `alaihi wa sallam) mentioned that both deen and character are key factors in choosing a potential spouse.

wallahu A'lam.

Abu GG · 01-05-2006, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mari

I think marrying someone better than you in terms of Ibadah and intelligence has both pros and cons. But we have to remember that every case is different and with that, we can't really generalize. As many of you have mentioned, there are cases where the wife is better than the husband in both ways but the marriage works out fine, and other cases where this just doesn't work at all.

I think a lot of us might be missing another key factor in this discussion: personality/character. My theory is that if marriages work out where the husband is better than the wife in terms of Ibadah and Intelligence or vice versa, it might be because of the personalities. A husband who is more knowledgable in Deen and dunya might be very patient and loving towards his wife. He feels merciful towards her, has patience in teaching her even though she doesn't meet up to his "level" perhaps.

On the other hand, if such a husband has a very tough personality, very rigid, and impatient, his wife might have a hard time.

The same could go for the wife being more knowledgable in deen and dunya than the husband, too.

It all goes back to the hadeeth where the Prophet (sal Allahu `alaihi wa sallam) mentioned that both deen and character are key factors in choosing a potential spouse.

wallahu A'lam.

Some very valid and good points raised. Thankyou for your input.

***Editor*** · 01-05-2006, 02:31 PM

Yes, that was good, masha Allah. Jazakillahu khair sis.

Quote:

Originally Posted by daniel aljughaifi

Explain a bit more for claritys sake if you don't mind.

It's OK akhi, now that I reread your post, I guess you'd answered the original Q (which was what I was seeking).

***daniel aljughaifi*** · 01-05-2006, 08:49 PM

I think as far as brothers are concerned, there is no wrong in your wife knowing more than you.

And as far as the sisters are concerned there is no wrong in you knowing more than him.

I would welcome anyone willing to compete in good deeds. It's about attaining Jennah, not impressing one another. So if we can find someone who will help us get there than we found who is right for us.

You wanna know who is good for you (weather man or woman)? :Anyone that reminds you of Allah(swt) and anyone who pushes you to good deeds seeking no one elses pleasure exept His(swt) weather they are more or less knowledgeble then yourself.

"Wa ma khalaqtul jinna wa insa ila leya'abuduun"

Our object is to worship Him, so anyone that can help you do that should be just fine inshaAllah.

p.s. One of Sheikh Abdul Qadr Arna'utis students once told me about istiakharah: "Istikharah is like full coverage insurance...it doesn't protect you from an accident...but should you get in one you will get paid for it after all has taken place."

Umm Huraira · 01-07-2006, 07:37 AM

Original question = yes to both

Follow up question = probably not. I would want to marry someone who has more Islamic 'Ilm than I do, memorized more than I have, because then I would have someone to seek knowledge from in a more personal setting. Also, respect will comes naturally because who doesn't respect someone who gives you knowledge willingly?

As for marrying "down" in terms the other 'ilm (intelligence based on university/high school performance) then I wouldn't mind. I don't place much importance on how 'intelligent' people think about someone just because they have those initials after their name. You wouldn't believe how some people put so much emphasis on secular education even if that person's aqeedah isn't even solid. /end rant

But in the end, it all boils down to individual situations. Wallahu 'Alam...

***Shajaa3ah*** · 01-07-2006, 07:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Editor

1. Deen - This is judging from apparent 'ibadat. Impressive things that you know you hardly ever know/do yourself, if at all.

I wouldn't mind if he was better than me in this or not, as long as was sincere and followed the truth when he saw it.

Quote:

2. Academic - This could be in terms of deeni studies as well. It's just a basic grasp of the person's intellect, with apparent academic results (or anything else you see fit) as measurement.

He would have to be on a higher or at least on the same intellectual level. I do not mean in terms of academic qualifications, I just mean he could not be someone I regarded as illogical, irrational, or just plain stupid.

***Editor*** · 01-07-2006, 08:12 AM

What are you trying to say, exactly? That you won't marry me? Is that it?

***Shajaa3ah*** · 01-07-2006, 08:24 AM

01-05-2006, 04:28 AM	#12
Ukht Islaami simply beautiful. Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 1,276 Gender:	I love you blessed! The first woman I loved, he said, Her skin was satin and gold. The next woman I loved, he said. Her skin was satin and gold. The third woman I loved, he said, Was made in a different mold. She was deeper than me, and said so; She was stronger than me, and said so. She was wiser than me, and proved it; I shivered, and grew cold. The fourth woman I loved, he said, Her skin was satin and gold. __________________ I got this icebox where my heart used to be

01-05-2006, 04:37 AM	#13
TajweedDoctor a.k.a. mari Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 309 Gender:	I think marrying someone better than you in terms of Ibadah and intelligence has both pros and cons. But we have to remember that every case is different and with that, we can't really generalize. As many of you have mentioned, there are cases where the wife is better than the husband in both ways but the marriage works out fine, and other cases where this just doesn't work at all. I think a lot of us might be missing another key factor in this discussion: personality/character. My theory is that if marriages work out where the husband is better than the wife in terms of Ibadah and Intelligence or vice versa, it might be because of the personalities. A husband who is more knowledgable in Deen and dunya might be very patient and loving towards his wife. He feels merciful towards her, has patience in teaching her even though she doesn't meet up to his "level" perhaps. On the other hand, if such a husband has a very tough personality, very rigid, and impatient, his wife might have a hard time. The same could go for the wife being more knowledgable in deen and dunya than the husband, too. It all goes back to the hadeeth where the Prophet (sal Allahu `alaihi wa sallam) mentioned that both deen and character are key factors in choosing a potential spouse. wallahu A'lam. __________________ Ibn Taymiyyah said, "Verily, I constantly renew my Islam until this very day, as up to now, I do not consider myself to have ever been a good Muslim." [Narrated by Ibn al-Qayyim in 'Madarij as-Salikin'; 1/218]

01-05-2006, 08:49 PM	#16
*daniel aljughaifi* النجدي الوهابي Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: "the land" 17:103 Posts: 536 Gender:	I think as far as brothers are concerned, there is no wrong in your wife knowing more than you. And as far as the sisters are concerned there is no wrong in you knowing more than him. I would welcome anyone willing to compete in good deeds. It's about attaining Jennah, not impressing one another. So if we can find someone who will help us get there than we found who is right for us. You wanna know who is good for you (weather man or woman)? :Anyone that reminds you of Allah(swt) and anyone who pushes you to good deeds seeking no one elses pleasure exept His(swt) weather they are more or less knowledgeble then yourself. "Wa ma khalaqtul jinna wa insa ila leya'abuduun" Our object is to worship Him, so anyone that can help you do that should be just fine inshaAllah. p.s. One of Sheikh Abdul Qadr Arna'utis students once told me about istiakharah: "Istikharah is like full coverage insurance...it doesn't protect you from an accident...but should you get in one you will get paid for it after all has taken place." __________________ "There is nothing on the face of the earth that is more in need of being imprisoned for a lenghty period of time than the tongue" Abdullah Ibn Mas'ood "The one who is in love is a slave to the one he loves" Sheikhul Islam Ibnu Taymiyyah Unite and Conquer Daniel Al-Jughaifi's Blog

01-07-2006, 07:37 AM	#17
Umm Huraira Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Sharjah Posts: 598 Gender:	Original question = yes to both Follow up question = probably not. I would want to marry someone who has more Islamic 'Ilm than I do, memorized more than I have, because then I would have someone to seek knowledge from in a more personal setting. Also, respect will comes naturally because who doesn't respect someone who gives you knowledge willingly? As for marrying "down" in terms the other 'ilm (intelligence based on university/high school performance) then I wouldn't mind. I don't place much importance on how 'intelligent' people think about someone just because they have those initials after their name. You wouldn't believe how some people put so much emphasis on secular education even if that person's aqeedah isn't even solid. /end rant But in the end, it all boils down to individual situations. Wallahu 'Alam... __________________ Have you done the Fardh Prayer before logging in?

01-07-2006, 08:12 AM	#19
*Editor* Om Ahe. Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: My hinterland lies elsewhere. Posts: 3,267 My Mood: Gender:	What are you trying to say, exactly? That you won't marry me? Is that it? __________________ \|FREE TALHA AHSAN\| اللهُمّ فك أسرى المسلمين، واحفظ دينهم وأهلهم *Remember: When you make du'a, have certainty that Allah will answer it.* Islamic Networking Moderator \| Unite & Conquer \| www.islamicnetwork.com \| www.cageprisoners.com

01-07-2006, 08:24 AM	#20
*Shajaa3ah* Agent Owen™ Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: SYA Island Posts: 2,465 Gender:	:ss: __________________ Islamic Networking Moderator \|Unite and Conquer www.islamicnetwork.com \| www.cageprisoners.com

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