Editor

as-salamu 'alaykum

It's a simple question from which I hope to get a good discussion out of so please kindly participate with kindness.

Would you marry someone better than you?

By better I specifically mean in two main aspects:
1. Deen - This is judging from apparent 'ibadat. Impressive things that you know you hardly ever know/do yourself, if at all.
2. Academic - This could be in terms of deeni studies as well. It's just a basic grasp of the person's intellect, with apparent academic results (or anything else you see fit) as measurement.

You could also base your answer on other factors like family status and wealth, etc. But try to focus on the two I specified insha Allah.

All (decent) answers will be appreciated. Jazakum Allahu khair.

Btw, you may reply regardless of your marital status.

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Editor

Definitely.

In completing half the deen, a literally better half is needed. Besides, I'd be bored to tears if I have to teach 'the man' simple stuff. It just sounds like a depressing end.

I started feeling that it's an obvious answer for the sisters (yeses all round), so it may be to ask the sisters if they'd marry 'down'? :/ Thing is, I've seen some awesome sisters married to brothers whom one'd instantly judge to be less-off in (one or both) those two departments and I started wondering if it's all good. And I wondered what the brothers felt like (ego?)... Cos these are sisters highly regarded in their own communities, masha Allah. Then again, their marriages are cool too.

[You've probably heard of these in your communities too. The "Oh he's like the luckiest guy alive to be married to that sister! Mashallah mashallah" type couple.]

There was once this documentary on couples made of wives more highly-educated than the husbands. And it was interesting to note the honest insecurities of the husbands despite acknowledging their marriage to be fine otherwise. In the long run though, just how much does it affect the marriage?

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Talib

To be honsest i would not like to marry a sister more intelligent than me, well i dont know how i would judge that before but anyhow.

I can just imagine it Husband " This is the way such and such works". Wife: " No darling, according to falaan, falaan the correct method is this". Husband:"" well you know whats coming next.

I will try to give a more detailed answer when i get back from work Insha Allaah.

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daniel aljughaifi

One must remember that it isn't always the way it seems when it comes to knowledge. "Holier than thou?" is the question. I'lm does not always make one holy, it is the backing action that gets the job done.

The Sister mentioned that it would be a bore to teach a man the basics. We should all relize that many times we have people who know very little (even the basics;like a new muslim) but they out do us in there piety by a long shot.

You could have a new muslim barly knowing how to make salah, but when he does his tears drive him to a khushu' you have never known. Or maybe he stays up all night in reverence while you sleep with your i'lm on your pillow.

Things are easyer to know than to practice. With that in mind we should asks ourselves; who is teaching who???
(disclaimer: this is not directed towerds anyone in particular but rather a helping answer to a problem that one might face)

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Prof

wa alaikum assalaam

Sure.

I try to avoid answering hypothetical questions.

Abu GG

Oh definitely. As long as she was chillaxxed and enjoyed a kulfi alongside her ibaadat. If we were equally holy she wouldnt enjoy telling me off for doing bad things n I wouldnt enjoy picking out her small faults and blowing em out of proportion cause shes sposed to be a holy girl

Oh definitely. I believe I have the capability of making someone whose more intelligent than me believe that theyre thicker than me. Its a wonderful feeling. I see it as a challenge. And I know I'll always succeed at it iA. I haven't yet met a girl who Id deem as being more intelligent than me in the general sense. But its always nice to see a girl whose not as intelligent as you learn off you and become more intelligent overtime.

Oh definitely. The feeling you get from having a girl from a high caste, wealthy family and status head over heels for you is out this world. Who the man is all u'll be whispering to yourself.

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abu_bakr

1. Rasul'allah (peace be upon him) has advised of us that the best reason to marry a girl is for her deen. So if she is better than him deen-wise then I would see this as a good thing.

2. Personally, she should be able to string at least a couple of sentences together, and be interested in more than just soaps (as in TV...) and clothes, regardless of her intelligence and education.

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Editor

Jazakum Allahu khair all.

Akh daniel, interestingly, I added that line just to provoke a reaction .

In any case, I was referring more to the intellect. ie. More of the comprehension/understanding of the knowledge than the actual possession of it. And we all know that the understanding of the deen, is something Allah blesses upon whom He favours. And the true understanding of any knowledge lies rightfully in its implementation. Add to that, the first aspect I mentioned was of the actions...

So with both knowledge and worship combined, what would your take be in that case?

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talibatun ul ilm

its funny that most people, esp the brothers agreeing to marrying a sister who appears more knowledgeable than them: i heard just last week of a brother that rejected a sister on the grounds that she was "too good for him"
i have a feeling that this probably not that uncommon, which is sad considering point one from akhi abu bakr's post.....

NaseehaMan

Dude, like I totally would.

As for intelligence, sure, I would.

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